How to calm down fast (in about a minute) 🌋

Try a 60-second cyclic sigh

A cyclic sigh is a double breath in followed by a long breath out. Breathe in through your nose, then take a second short sip of air on top, then let it all out slowly through your mouth. Repeat for about a minute.

In a 2023 Stanford study led by Melis Yilmaz Balban, people who did five minutes of cyclic sighing a day for a month had bigger improvements in mood, and slower breathing at rest, than people who did mindfulness meditation. One minute will not do everything, but many people notice their body settle within a few breaths.

Make your out-breath longer than your in-breath

If the double breath feels awkward, simply breathe out for longer than you breathe in. A simple pattern is in for 4 seconds and out for 6, which works out at about six breaths a minute.

Many people find this slower rhythm helps them feel steadier, and it is easy to do anywhere without anyone noticing: in class, at a desk or in the middle of an argument.

You can help it along by dropping your shoulders and unclenching your jaw as you breathe out. If you are with a child, breathe slowly together and make it a little game, like blowing out pretend birthday candles or cooling a cup of hot cocoa.

Pause, step away and count to 10

When anger rises, give yourself a gap before you react. The mental health charity Mind suggests pausing, counting to 10, walking away for a bit and taking calming breaths.

Mind also points out that anger shows up in the body first: a faster heartbeat, a clenched jaw, tight fists or tapping feet. Noticing those early signs gives you a chance to step back before the feeling takes over.

A change of scene helps too. Splashing cool water on your face, getting a glass of water or stepping outside for a minute can interrupt the loop of angry thoughts long enough for your breathing to slow down.

Does venting help you calm down?

Not usually. A 2024 review by Sophie Kjærvik and Brad Bushman looked at 154 studies and found that venting, such as hitting a pillow, shouting or going for a hard run to "let it out", did not reduce anger. Activities that lower your body's arousal, like slow breathing, muscle relaxation or yoga, did.

So the best order is calm first, sort it out second. Once your body has settled, it is much easier to think clearly, talk it through and decide what you actually want to do about the thing that upset you.

Calm-down games that do the breathing with you

If it is hard to breathe slowly on your own, a game can set the pace. Cool-Down Volcano is a breathing game for angry moments: hold while the ring grows and let go as it shrinks, in for 4 and out for 6. Each slow breath cools the lava, and after eight breaths the volcano is a smiling snowy mountain.

Bubble Breath uses the same rhythm with a glowing bubble and takes about two minutes for ten breaths. Both are free on Mood Games, run in your browser and work well for kids and adults. If breathing games are not your thing, Color Swirl lets you stir slow colour and watch it settle by itself.

If you often feel out of control, unsafe, or like your anger is hurting you or people around you, please reach out to someone you trust. Free, confidential support lines are listed on our support page at /support/.